Addiction robs human beings of impulse control. Locked in the cycle of the phenomenon of craving and obsession to use, time is lost; addicts lack the ability to be here now. The demands of the disease are so overwhelming that it requires immediacy of use to change, control, or escape any feelings of discomfort.

In sobriety, we are told that we will “feel better.” The truth that most of us do not recognize in this statement is that we will feel everything more keenly: pain and pleasure – because we will live with consciousness and awareness. We learn to be “comfortable in our own skin,” meaning that we can sit still with feelings without having to modify, change or deny them.

As our ability to sit still grows (one day at a time), sober addicts develop a sense of serenity. The ability to sit still with feelings spreads to other areas of our lives: we don’t have to lash out verbally and speak our minds about things that disturb us or with which we disagree – we develop “restraint of pen and tongue.” We don’t have to act on our feelings either. We begin to acquire containment so that our feelings do not control us nor do they spill over to affect those around us. This does not mean that we dismiss feelings, nor does it mean that we disregard them. We learn to honor our feelings, for they are expressions of an inner life that allows us to live with integrity. Owning our feelings as guides without having to displaying them or be governed by them is a mark of integration and maturity and an earmark of emotional health. Further, it is a sign of recovery.